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Madrama and eksena. Ichinika na ni Edward kay Bella na isa siyang blood-sucking vampire living among humans in the cloudly as ever town of Fork.

Dinala ni Edward si Bella pataas… towards the forest canopy, beyond the covering clouds para ipakita kung ano ang totoong itsura niya in sunlight.

Ay ayan, sabi ko, matutunaw siya! Maaagnas! Magliliyab!

ano ang nangyari?

Nag-shining, shimmering splendid siya!

Nung una akala ko, pagtama ng sunlight sa kanya at nag-glow siya, ay! Pinagpawisan! Ansarap! Tapos super-explain niya na kusang nagtutwinkle-twinkle pala ang balat niya kaya bawal siyang makita sa sunlight, otherwise mabubukelya siya.

Hello! Mabubukelyang ano? Lulurking emo na gumagamit ng body make-up with glitter. How very metrosexual!!!

Hindi ako super excited manood ng “Twilight”. Slight lang. Pero may vampire, may mystery, may darkness. Sige na nga. Go. What made it special was Gbo and I were going on a  date with his youngest sister. Uyyy unti-unti na ba akong ipinakikilala sa pamilya? Very retail. Nung ipinakilala ko siya kasi sa family ko, isang bagsakan. Mula sa parientes, to sisterer, to pamangkins, to apo. Wholesale. Waherherher.

Keribels naman sa akin ang movie. Siguro as usual kasi, mababa ang expectation ko. Mas nadisappoint si Gbo, mabagal raw ang takbo ng story.

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https://i2.wp.com/www.mtvasia.com/News/200805/images/14015909.jpgKerbs. Sulit naman sa eye candy. Yummy ang daddy ni Bella (yung may bigote sa kaliwa pic). Yummy yung daddy ni Edward na mukhang jogets na pinatanda ng kulapol ng foundation na two-tones lighter na skin color niya. Hello.

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https://i0.wp.com/www.mtvasia.com/News/200805/images/21015945.jpgYumyumshaw yung kontrabidang si James na gustong lafangin si Bella, and not in a kiwal-kiwal nice way. At  kailangan talaga ang unang litaw ni sa movie, wala siyang pang-itaas. Spell gratuitious pec exposure naman. At yumburger with cheese din ang American indian na friendship ni Bella na si Jacob (played by the Sharkboy in that 3D movie pala, hay mababantay-bata aku!!!)

But of course ang papey of the movie is Edward, played by Robert Pattison who was the nachuging Cedric from that Harry Potter saga.

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Overdose ng glutathione anyone? Magtampisaw tayo sa Lyna.Magugulong tayo sa Chinchansu! Tapos umemote tayo ng todo. Ewan ko pero parang kung nagkaanak sina Robert  Smith of The Cure at si James Dean, si Edward ang lalabas. Wag niyo nang itanong kung sino ang magbubuntis. Lech.

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Either that o si Edward ay ang nagbinatang Edward Scissorhands. Naging busangot lang siya.

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“Twilight” is very much unlike other recent movies for young audiences. While the other films contain contents that would appeal kiddies as well as the accompanying adults, Twilight is unabashedly geared directly to the tween market. Pangjogets siya talaga.

At maganda naman ang message to the teens… it’s cool to wait for the proper time to give “it” up. (parang parallelism ng virginity at vampirism kasi parehong may dadanak ng blood hihihi)

At sa ending, may parallelism din sa bible. As Eve tempted Adam with the apple, Bella tempts Edward with her leeg na (dapat) walang adam’s apple. Ewan ko lang kung anong message ang sinisend nun. Basta alam ko ang tawag kay Bella.

Pakakak.

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