In the movie, Toni Gonzaga is a bitch and Coco Martin has speech defect. Ayyy! True-to-life story ba ito? Charot.

I just want to make this clear: pinanood ko ang movie for Antoinette Jadaone and not for Toni and Coco. And that turned out to be a good thing dahil kung aasa ako sa dalawa, kumbaga sa highschool curriculum, from Biology nag-Physics agad sila: Walang Chemistry.

The most engaging part of the movie for me was the “viral CCTV video” ng rayrayan nina Toni at Coco sa loob ng elevator…. habang rumurolyo ang closing credit! Ay spoiler alert. Sorry naman.

To be fair, may moments naman ang movie and the two leads made the effort, pero try as i might, i just can’t get into the movie. Alam kong pinoy romcom ito so hindi ako nag-e-expect ng depth pero at least i should expect na kiligin di ba? Was that too much to ask?

Umpisa pa lang kasi ng movie ipinakita nang bitch si Toni. Yung naturalesa niya tapos inakting niya pa yung bitch character, ayun, nag-over-achieve. Bitchesa overload. First five minutes wala na akong pakialam kung ano mangyaring kachakahan sa buhay niya dahil feeling ko, she deserves it naman.

Super cute naman si Coco dito. Na-work ito the story na witchikels siya magaling sa ingles, at dahil mga Japanese na hindi rin bongga mag-ingles, believable na keribels lang and language deficiency niya.

On a side note. Mas magaling pa yung Hapon na businessman na hindi magaling mag-ingles kesa kay Freddie Webb na inglisero. Cardboard acting much?

Mabalik tayo kay Coco. In fair, bigay na bigay rin siya rito and kebs na mag-mukhang tanga in service of the movie. Magaling na actor si Coco as evidenced by the singular quiet anger moment niya near the end of the film. Pero sa pagpapacute, kailangan niyang mag-take ng lessons kay JM de Guzman. Ang igsi ng eksena ni JM pero naramdaman ko kung bakit hirap magmove on si Toni. Isang tingin lang at… ay, paabot nga ulit nung panty shield.

Walang videoke bar scene dito pero meron pa ring sing-along to a hugot song scene, this time sa loob ng van. Ok, that proves it. Antoinette movie nga itong pinasok ko. At hindi kaya ni Coco na iacting na marunong siyang kumanta. Ever.

The only other scene that i got into, and was hoping will pull me into the movie finally was  yung text exchange nina Toni and Coco na wordless acting, VO lang ng text messeges. (Uy, using graphics to move the story along, Antoinette movie nga talaga ito)

As usual scene stealer si Gerald Napoles as the ad libbing deus ex machina para mareveal ang true feeling ni Coco for Toni. Pero kailangan talaga meron isang pang bit player na nagpapaka-Gerald Napoles clone to serve the same purpose later in the movie?!!! Ay sorry, hindi nagwork. Nairita lang ako.

While Tadhana had Sagada, Boss has Batanes. So good luck naman mga environmetalists, meron na naman kayong pristine destination na kailangang protektahan. May habulan scene sa rolling hills. I was expecting merong “i-Dawn Zulueta mo akoh!” scene. Bakit wala? I want it!!!

Walang diskusyon, angganda ng Batanes, at ipinakita nila ito ng bongga. ihinto ang kwento, mag-travelogue tayo. Sabay-sabay tayong kumanta ng “The beauty of the Philippines is shining through….” luma ba yung peg? Sorry naman.

 The thing is, while Sagada felt organic sa story ng  sa Tadahan, ang Batanes dito sa movie parang “uy maganda sa Batanes, gawin nating tagaBatanes si Coco”. Feeling ko kung sa Bohol nagpunta ang location manager ni movie naging bisaya si Coco.

After seeing three of her previous films, i can declare that I love me some Antoinette Jadaone but this movie naman meeeeeeeeeen?  Either nagbabayad ng utang si Antoinette o nag-iipon siya ng good will para may magproduce ng pelikulang gusto talaga niyang gawin.

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