#Kasal : #TheKneeJerkCritic Movie Review

“Hi bitch!”, sabeh ni Kylie Verzosa. Taraaaay!

Aylavet!! Hungbakla ng line! I’m so stealing that line, punyeta wahahaha.

***

Meron nakapagbulong sa akin na LGBTQ movie raw ang Kasal maski sina Paulo Avelino Bea Alonzo at Derek Ramsay ang nasa poster. Humopia tuloy ako na ang ganap eh between was between Paulo and Derek. Napanood ko pa yung eksena kasi sa trailer, ugh, hitik sa tensyon eh.

Tapos…wele nemen pele. Hmpf.

Though may LGBTQ twist ang movie, witchikels naman siya truliling LGBTQ film in my book. Mas parang afternoon soap lang siya sa TV na may beki component na ginawang movie pambayad sa talent fee nung tatlo lead plus TF nina Boyet de Leon, Cherie Gil at Ricky Davao.

Kompletos recados ang melodrama. May magjowa, may politics, may mang-aagaw, may mapaghiganting ex,  may matapobreng in-laws, may dysfunctional family, may transgender factor, may OA na support player, may beki twist. Hungdaming ganap! Parang pancit habhab na may lechong kawali salted eggs, pusit, chicharon, tinapa, lumpia, tokwa,pusit, bbq chicken, bacon. Mamahalin naman ang mga sahog pero papuntang kaning-baboy pa rin na sa dami ng halo.

Charot. OA lang ako. Pero mala-mala ganun.

So nagsimula yung movie sa fast paced ligawan between Paulo and Bea, kumpleto with nagpapadelight muna ni Bea, pakilikili ni Paulo para pampasarap, tapos proposal sa gitna ng field of electric flowers na umilaw nung nag-yes si Bea.

Three times.

Yep pakking three times. Isang close up, isang mid-shot saka isang aerial. Kumu-Korean novela shot. Mahal siguro yung set-up so sinulit sa dami ng ulit.

Pagkatapos pailawin yung flowers, nagparain effect naman. Ganda! Cinematic! Wet proposal! Kaso nashort circuit yung exposed wires kasi nabasa. Nakuryente sina Paulo at Bea. Patay pareho.

Ghost movie pala ituh.

Charot lang. hindi totoo.

Ang totoo, after the proposal, ipapakilala na sana ni Paulo si Bea sa matapobreng pudang at mudang  niya  played with much hamonadoness by Boyet de Leon and Cherie Gil, in her matapobre best. Efforteless ang lola. Parang hiningahan niya lang si Bea tapos kumolek na siya ng TF.

Sidenote: hungkinis ulit ni Boyet dito huh. Flawless for his age… and unnuanced ang facial expression which equals to…. #alamna. Bwahaha! Pero gwapo pa rin ang lolo niyo huh. I’d do him hehehe.

Continuing….

Wititit tipelya ng pamilya ni Pau si Bea dahil hindi na nga alta si Bea, have pa ito ng iskandalosang pudang/mudang played by Ricky Davao. Trans kasi si pudang at jiniwan ang pamilya nina Bea to find womanly herself. In fairness sa nag-ayos kay Ricky. channeling Gloria Diaz realness siya. Gloria Diaz na busog. yung Gloria Diaz na dating nagwi-weight pero huminto at lumafang na lang.

Dahil  late ang pohtang Bea sa pa-family dinner, inabutan tuloy niya na chinachaka-chaka siya ng pamilya ni Paulo behind her back.

Yan ang napapala ng late ate, nachachaka nang talikuran. Dumating ka kasi on time sa susunod, pohtah. Para machaka ka nang harapan.

But then again, kailangang naman ang scene na ito para may chance  na umemote si Bea and try makipagbreak kay Paulo. Para may eksenang ring  inaamu-amo siya ni Paulo syempre. Kilig yan,  pero very quick lang dapat. Magmamatigas ka pa ba nang todo eh Paulo Avelino yan? Baka maniwala si kuyey na ayaw mo na nga, sagpangin pa yan ng iba. So very light na padelight lang dapat.

And then, tuloy ang engagement!!!

Sa bilis ng pagkakaresolve ng problemang yun, kailangang magkaproblema ulit, so patakbuhin nating mayor si Pau maski walang training, walang background, walang kahit ano except anak siya ng mayor na corrupt . Hunggandang credentials to be a mayoralty candidate de ba?

Kaso hindi lang kasi basta bagitong tumatakbong mayor si Pau, meron rin siyang mahigpit na kalaban na beteranong politiko hindi na nasilayan ever sa movie. Baka naubos na kina Boyet at Cherie ang budget para sa ibang artista.

Basta threat si beteranong politiko. Maski invisible siya, ok?

Nangunguna raw sa survey si invisible kalaban dahil may pa-public school itong project. So Kailangan itong tapatan ng pamilya nina Pau para makahabol sabi ng nag-uum-OA na Cris Villongco. Neng campaign manager lang naman yata ng role  mopero kung maka-asta at maka-ispluk kaeh parang ikaw ang bossing at utusan mo lang yung pamilyang may political dynasty. Sis, next time wag paghaluin ang kape at red bull sa shooting ok. Antaas meyn! Strong! Overwhelming! Mag-valium ka kaya nang slight para bumaba ng konti ang amats mo?

so aun na nga, ang desisyon ng pamilya, kung magpapa-public school ang kalaban,  sila naman magpapatulay.

To bridge the rich and the poor keme. Connect the have to the have nots. Join the mangungurakot to the kurakutees. Charot.

Kung ako yan, pagpapa-Miss Gay na lang ako sa plaza saka magpapa-Bikini Open na medyas lang ng bata ang nakasupot sa mga junjun. Tignan ko lang kung hindi ako ang manalo by a landslide, bwahahah. Mas tipid pa!

Since waley naman ngang ibang political or societal achievement Pau, his mayoralty bid is solely hinged sa completion ng tulay before the election.  Pau needs to have the bridge built, and built fast. Enter si Derek the Ex  na may construction firm pala at siyang solong tumanggap ng madaliang project dahil sa igsi ng deadline. Nalaman pala kasi ni Derek na involved si Bea sa proyekto at gagamitin niya ang project na ito to get a chance to make agaw Bea from Pau.

Then pinakawalan si Kylie Verzosa bilang malditerang ex  ni Pau. Nyetah, hungganda ng rehistro sa screen na babaitang ituh. At may acting for a beginner huh.

Like Derek, bet rin ni Kylie na paghiwalayin sina Bea at Pau pero meron siyang bala to do so. Have pala siya ng video ni Pau na may ka-bromance.

Homaygaahd  *LGBTQ Spoiler Alert* Bekilou Blanco si Pau!

Ok sige, hindi pala totally Bekilou Blanco, Bisexualou Blanco lang kasi maski na may kabromance siya dati, trulagen niyang love si Bea.

Anyways, for the sake na gumulo pa lalo ang kwento, may landian moment si Kylie with Derek where nafind out ni otoko ang hidden secret ni Bisexualou. Tuwa ang hitod na Derek kasi suddenly may alas siyang hawak.

Derek decided to use the info to blackmail Pau to force him to come out of the closet on his own at sirain ang Pau-Bea Forever at ibalik ang tabalang De-Bea.

Mixed emotion with young corn si Pau. On one hand syokot siya na mabukelya dahil lovelya naman niya talaga si Bea and afraid siyang iwan ng merlat. On the other hand imbudo siya kasi natatapakan ang pagkalalaki niya in helplessness sa stiwasyon plus yung homophobic actions ni Derek.

In fair kay Derek, committed siya sa pagka-asshole ng role niya huh. Kajiritey siya talaga tuwing  binubwisit niya si Pau. Bilang self-respecting member of the LGBTQ sector, i actually felt uncomfortable na and somewhat indignant sa sexualizing ng panghaharass ng character ni Derek kay Pau.

Pero, honestly, some part of me eh medyo  kiniligkilig dun dahil may halong panghaharot yung harrassment. Anlakas maka-BL as in boylove movies na thai o japanese.

Saka Derek at Pau kaya ito noh, hungsarap imadyinin. Paaabot nga ng tissue.

Actually i kinda wished nga na tinapon na lang nila yung early blah parts like the faux political kemerut ng movie at hinabaan na lang yung harutang Derek at Pau. Sana more scenes na binubwisit siya constantly ni Derek pero hindi makareact si Pau because nga of the blackmail thing and dahil may slight attraction. Malakas ang dating sa audience nung eksena nila eh. Dapat moremore.

Syempre hindi ito mangyayari dahil si Bea ang dapat raw pinag-aagawan dito hindi si Derek. Ok fine.

See, hindi siya trulili LGBTQ film ang Kasal eh. It may be a film that projects a more mainstream-friendly variation of being gay, pero hindi siya gay film.

Also, i felt that making Pau’s character bisexual rather 100% gay was a cop-out, or at the very least, a compromise, to avoid tarnishing Pau’s rep too much and also para mainstream movie pa rin siya in the end.

That being said, naapreciate ko naman the way they presented the the LGBTQ characters differently. Pau was never shown being swishy, which used to be the go-to characterization ng isang actor in a gay role. Ricky Davao’s performance as a trans woman is defining sa local movies. It will be the bar succeeding local actors playing trans women will be measured against. Ricky’s character was not a man in a dress. See.Was.A.Woman. Clapclapclap!

Bea’s acting is on par. There is one scene that Bea shone the fullest though. yung breakdown niya when she found out Pau’s secret. Her lines could have been awkward but her delivery was on point. Kinda funny yung lines at nagtawaan nga yung audience  niya pero napulloff niya to make it a dramatic highlight.

But my biggest question is… saan nakatira si Bea at ano meron sa tubig nila? Parang hindi tumatanda ang pohtah. Saan yan, lilipat na akoh.

Paulo’s acting was also creditable. The character development is there. And he is continuing his development as an actor.

Derek’s role is kinda limiting and he just did what was asked of him…which is basically being an asshole. Hot and delicious, pero asshole pa rin. Even if he was given a redemption scene in the end, asshole siya.

Which reminds me, after all that Derek did, dahil nag-give way lang siya, all is forgiven na? He basically tried wrecking a guy’s life. Sa movie all’s well that ends well, pero sa real life pag may-inout kang closet case, you are basically trying to ruin that person’s life and some retribution should be in order. Hindi pwedeng sorry-i shall go away and you will never see me again drama lang. Dapat may kabayaran! Like ipakalat na maliit pala ang titi niya, mabaho pa kaya siya hiniwalayan ni Bea.

Ona nagkatikiman pala talaga yung characters ni Pau at Derek. I’d watch that. Paabot nga ulit nung tissue.

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1 Comment

  1. Mas maganda sana kung si Derek and Paulo talaga ang may nakaraan. Tapos umikot yung istorya kung paano kukumbinsihin at aakitin ni Derek si Paulo para wag pakasalan si Bea. Kahit si Bea and Paulo pa ang magkatuluyan sa ending okey lang kasi nangyayari naman talaga yun sa tutuong buhay na may bading na nagpapakasal sa babae at nagiging maayos ang pagsasama nila. Pero mas naging matapang sana ang Star Cinema kung ganun ang naging takbo ng istorya. Sumugal nalang din sila di pa nila tinodo. Mukang game pa naman daw sina Derek at Paulo at matapang silang actor. Si Paulo nga gumanap na dati ng gay role sa Sayaw ng dalawang kaliwang paa.

    Like

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