#BohemianRhapsody: #TheKneeJerkCritic Movie Review

Heeeey. It’s been a while. Sorry naman.

Slightly natengga ako sa papaworld-premiere ng movie reviews for some reason.

Which means tinamad ako.

Pero hindi naman full-bloom tengga huh.  Achullee may draft nga ako ng apat na reviews na dahil sa katam and anek-anek  eh witchikels ko nafinish line hanggang nabantilawan at inabot ng expiration date. Ayun, mga burong reviews na sila na wititit nang makakasight ng light of day.

Heniweizzz. So eto na nga, Bohemian Rhapsody, ang movie-fication ng kumpaano nagsimula ang band Queen hanggang sa supposed pinnacle ng career nila: ang Live Aid performance nila sa London.

Andami kong nabasa at narinig an grabi-grabi, kakaiyak ever raw.

‘Teh, saang banda?

Hindi naman sa nangnenega pero…. well sige, ninenega ko nanga kasi wala akong naexpereince na nakakajiyak. Hindi ako najiyak. Walang kajiyak-jiyak. Walang ganung ganap. Ever.

And everybody is praising Rami Malek’s performance as Freddie Mercury. Shoe-in na pam-best-actor raw. Mmmmmmm….

Ewan ko. First of all, naba-bother ako sa prosthetics niyang over-bite. Parang papuntang planet of the apes na yung nguso niya sa tambok. Second, hung-petite niya compared sa pinopersonify niyang big person with an even bigger personality.  Kerikeri siguro ang size difference pag-solo shots, pero pag nag-wide na at katabi yung ibang actors, parang siyang si Frodo na may bigota na naligaw sa land of the elves.

And Malek  didn’t even sing the songs. Mega-lipsync lang.

The movie starts, showing Malek na isang baggage handler sa airport, and not a very good one at that. Tapos may family scene, bar scene, band scene, ex-lead singer ng band walks out scene tapos seconds later enter Malek sa eksena, and, boom….Queen is born!

What follows ay dramatization lang various milestone sa career ng Queen, step by step. Parang yung gumagalaw na tableau lang sa COD at Ever Gotesco pag pasko noon.

And with just as much character and depth.

Sorry naman, anluma ng peg. Ok ilagay natin sa Greenhills.

Sa iba siguro, especially millennials, eyeopener ang movie’ng ito. Usual reactions ranged from “Sila pala kumanta nun” to “Sa AIDS pala namatay si Freddie Mercury”. Pero for me parang  Intro To Queen 101 lang yung movie.

Online Bullet Point Edition pa, hindi yung full course sa school.

The only new thing I got sa movie was that full-blooded at Indian-born pala si Freddie. All the while, with his bad teeth, akala ko Brit siya through and through. Mahal ba magpa-ortho sa Britain?

Plus, though veklabelles nga ang Freddie, merlat pala of love of his life. Well at least, the way the movie presented. Pero really, walang sinabi ang pelikula na hindi ko magu-google sa Wikipedia. Clickclickclick.

How millennial of me no?

Waley akong bagong insight o revelation na nakuha.

Tulad na lang ng overbite ni Freddie. It was all explained away sa isang throw away line sa umpisa ng movie na dahilan kung paano siya nakakakanta the way he did. Parang hindi naman ganung kasimple yun. Hungchaka kaya ng nguso niya. And i read na he was bullied for it as a bagets and for sure may bonggang effect yun sa psyche ni Freddie. Kaso dedmaers ang movie sa psychokemelatique na ganyan.

At sa gwapo nina Brian May at Roger Taylor, believable bang hanggang bro-bro lang talaga sila. As in sa mga tours nila during the early days eh never man lang humopia ang vacclang Freddie na maka-taste test o touchstone pictures ng noches ng bandmates niya?

Glossed over to the max. Über-sanitized ang kwento ng mga ganap. Parang si Freddie lang ang nagdroga at nagwalwal ng bongga habang sila pa-wine-wine at stick sa mga jowa nila. Kayo na ang malinis mga koyang. 70’s kaya yun, droga ang bisexual chukchakan galore.

Pero syempre, salamat yan sa involvement surviving members ng Queen sa paggawa ng movie. Sobrang santized, halos maamoy ko na yung disinfectant sa loob ng sine.

PAti friendships ni Freddie with other celebs like Elton John, Michael Jackson, Mick Jagger at Princess Di nabura. As if walang ibang kaibigan si Freddie bukod sa Queen at dun sa hidupurot na jowa niya.

At habang pinasadahan lang ng movie mga ganap sa life ni Freddie, hunghaba naman ng exposure ng Live Aid performance nila. Ok fine, yung ang supposed highlight ng movie pero isiniksik talaga yata yung buong setlist nila sa movie. Parang isang mahabang lipsync for your life lang siya ni Rami Malek sa Drag Race na hinintay ko yung critique nina Rupaul at Michelle Visage after.

At maski na nirecreate nila ung buong set, walang dating kasi parang sa harap lang naman ng green screen nagperform sina Rami. Kung mali ako sa sa harap sila ng totoong audience, pwes sana nagtipid na lang sila at nag-greenscreen na lang dahil yun naman ang dating. Walang-wala sa real energy ng concert scenes ng A Star Is Born ni Bradley Cooper at Lady Gaga.

If there is anything good I could say about the movie, it’s the music. Na-LSS sa Love Of My Life and have a new POV sa lyrics ng Bohemian Rhapsody within the context ng pagkamatay ni Freddie. And it introduced these songs sa bagong generation ng audience na si Troye Sivan lang yata ang beki singer na kilala. Imagine 40 years old na yung ibang mga kanta nila, pwede nang magmid-life crisi on their own!

The movie also established na tuelagen mga besh, Queen’s songs are real and lasting classics that defy convension, sige na kasali na yang We Are The Champions na nasusuka ako sa pagkahokey at kitchy.  Ako lang naman yun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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14 Comments

  1. Ganda ng idea na para kang nag/magvivideoke dahil may lyrics sa ibaba ng screen.

    Pero feeling ko 2/3 ng story ay pinagdugtong-dugtong lang na clips ng mga tour and concert nila, Di ko pa masyadong maintindihan dahil sa accent.

    Nabiktima nanaman ako ng marketing chuchu at hype.

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  2. And I wonder what the LGBTQIA community has to say about the downplayed love story of Freddie and the guy he spent his last 6 or so years with. Para namang nasa 80s Philippine cinema ang Hollywood nyan Kalurkey! 😦

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    1. not really surprised since the movie is sanction by the remaining (straight) members of the band. it is a movie about the band and not freddie’s bio after all, so sa akin kebs all over, including the movie itself.

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      1. Hooongapala!. I got your point, Sir Arlo. Pasensya na, na-carried away po kasi ako ng mega-hyped promos sa Entertainment Tonight ng movie na mostly centered sa over-bite, este sa bida na super kamukha ni Freddie M! Ahahahaha! Joke!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. i dont think they are homophobes naman but they want to leave a ‘clean” legacy as much as they can. Note that freddie’s drug use is just verbally noted and visually implied but never really shown. and they present themselves as family men who are above the shenanigan that freddie indulged in.in short hunglilinis ng mga pohtah

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